Loving you hurts me

I hate loving you, because hating you is so much harder
Your selfish ways have made me strong,
But my faith has been consequently tarnished
The stereotypical love I thought was mandatory
Was like a switch for you
Maybe there is a supernatural plan,
My mere being can't quite understand
Your disgusting ways fog my memory
The stench of it makes me nauseous
Makes me wonder if I'll someday become
The same thing I despise

I'm growing weary, my faith is leaking
So tired of being strong,
Let me rest in your arms for awhile
But first let me make you understand what I'm feeling
Only then can you give me the love I need
Not the kind you want to give
If I accepted the kind you offered I would be just like you

So until you offer me what is stereotypically mine,
I'll continue you to say to you, I hate loving you,
Because hating you becomes so much harder